Barriers to Success

onlinecounsellingcollege:

1. Seeing success as being determined by external factors. (So if I fail it’s circumstances or someone else’s fault.) This takes away my sense of power and keeps me stuck in failure and helplessness.

2. Personal blind spots. Sometimes we keep failing but we’re blind to the fact that there’s something we’re doing that is causing us to fail. That could be related to our communication style, our attitudes, lack of knowledge and ability, pursuing something that doesn’t suit our gifts and talents, and so on.

3. Self sabotage. Sometimes we don’t feel we deserve to succeed so unconsciously we do something that causes us to fail. This includes meditating on self-limiting thoughts (For example, “I could never …; I don’t deserve …”).

4. Feeling ambivalent about the goals you’ve set. We often set a goal that is someone else’s goal so we’re not really sure if it’s what we want ourselves. That affects our motivation, and our will to succeed.

5. Fear of change. All successes bring some change – and that can feel threatening. And we’re often comfortable with our life as it is now. So we wonder if success will really make us happier.

6. Pressure from others who don’t want you to succeed. It’s very common for our peers to be threatened by success, and we know they’ll be sarcastic or mean if we succeed. Hence, we don’t try our hardest as we recognise the cost will be social isolation, or rejection by our friends.

Anonymous asked:

I just moved to a new city and am friendly towards the new but lonely. How do you lean into loneliness?

thesofthuman:

Create loving & joyful routines for yourself. Wake up early to do something that feels good to you. Go out into the world: to a coffee shop, an art museum, a bookstore. Take yourself on dates & learn to enjoy your own company. Stay connected with those that you love elsewhere. Volunteer somewhere if you have the time & the means. Journal. Read books. Invent stories. Sing. Learn how to crochet. Ride your bike around the city. Play the guitar. Pick a hobby to dive into. Know that loneliness can become solitude if we open our arms to it. Solitude is birthed from being present with the heart of the moment, the depth of your own feelings. Solitude is birthed from exploration. Loneliness has a heavy energy that feels isolating. It’s okay to feel & be in it in times. But if you can see the world is yours to be with, it’ll open your eyes. If you can embrace solitude as not true loneliness but a very large & compassionate relationship between you and the rest of the world then your heart will settle into it. Time softens the edges of loneliness. The world seeps into the cracks & fills the spaces.

remanence-of-love:

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remanence-of-love:

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ishikorokoroishi:

Japan  Sep 2020

"You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."

Benjamin Mee, We Bought a Zoo
  (via itcuddles)

(Source: overfierce)

onewayolie:

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